We’re ok for now

Even though my parents aren’t divorced

sometimes it feels like they are

 or should I say I wish  they were

some days my mom comes home at exactly 6:15 happier than the sun shining and the birds chirping ,

and at other times, I never know when she will stop raising her voice

sometimes the yelling goes on for a few minutes

and sometimes I wonder if it will ever stop

and I guess I’m just scared,

to think that we have put up through these struggles

or to think that we have to find the right solution for

these conflicts .

I think it’s scary to think about it,

Because one day the house is full of laughter and cheers

And the next it’s so empty…

With nothing to say to each other, we try to avoid one another

Pretending all is fine, when it’s not.

Because what are we supposed to say to our parents?

” why won’t guys just end things already ” ?

Sometimes I think this house is made up of bipolar disorder,

You never know when the sudden mood change is going to strike

Because even though I said I wasn’t counting, I was.

It took 11 minutes and 29 seconds for my mom’s mood to alter.

And for my father to snap at something little, like the groceries we had to buy,

Or my sister not being at home.

So I guess sometimes I wish my parents were divorced

So I wouldn’t be living in a constant fear

That something terrible was going to happen,

Or that one of the things that happened in the past will happen again,

Those memories from a long time a go haven’t left me for a single day

It still rewinds in my memory, like a sudden gripe, or a heartache

Or a nightmare that wakes me up continuously.

At times I think

‘ No way, we can’t live without my dad’

Because if they do split up

I wasn’t going to move with him,

I love my mom too much to leave her

With her shaky hands

And uneasy thoughts

What I’m saying is that even though I look at them both with sorrow

I guess we’re okay for now.

This is my strength

As I was staring blankly at my reflection on the lake’s water

I kind of saw myself exposed to my weaknesses

i saw my coward side starting to scratch its way to my personality’s surface

at that time i’m used to find you holding my hands giving me strength, but not this time around

as i’m in this new town looking up to the sky line hoping to hear your voice

looking through the crowds hoping to see your face

but it was just then that I closed my eyes and realized that once i do it

I can still feel your heart near me

preventing all my flaws from controlling me

at times like this I come to realize that

no matter what

no matter when

I only love you

nothing can drift me away from that

and I know that it’s my strength

that keeps me holding on

your love lighted me in every way

protected me from this dark world

your love always supported me

your simple smile works the best

for eternity I’ll keep believing that

no matter where we may drift

nothing can lift me up and carry me though i’m walking on water like your love

nothing comes against me as long as i remember your healing embrace

even between all the people even from the most far road

you still shine for me

In my dreams, there’s a chance that you’re faithful


You gave to me 
Uncountable lies 

But I trusted you
As you looked into my eyes

You came and left
Way sooner than I could realize
Like the wind

You got me
Used to ur voice each night before I sleep
You made me
believe that I was the only one for you but
Little did I know that when you disappeared you were with someone else
Oh no

Late nights are like mysteries
Our times turned to memories
How could you be
So cold, unsure like that 

 

we met and you took

everything that’s in me

and then you lied

you said that you were mine

 

you hurt me

so bad

 

I thought you were being genuinely

but you were just feeling lonely

I can’t believe you were

manipulating me

 

 

one day you are here

(telling me how much you love me)

one day you are there

(I should’ve known better)

 

Oh poor me when you left I felt so sad

I’m so naive how could i not realize it

I’ll back off and let you live and i’m sure it won’t mean a thing to you

oh no

 

Tonight im sleeping with tears

in hopes that in my dreams

there’s a chance

that you could be faithful

please just go and shut the door

forgive my weaknesses 

I don’t want to

feel nostalgic again

The thing that matters the most is my pride

and this thing that you call love

you can keep it 

It’s The Little Things

Once again I’m trembling down by your smile
I can’t erase the smile that’s on my face 
Cause I’m lost in the details of your face
I can not concentrate 
Here goes my mind with a thousand thoughts 
How did life turn on this way for both of us
Among all the other people there it was you
Now you’re the only one for me
The only one I think about
And what I love is everything about you
Cause I just love the way you laugh at your own jokes and how you stop me when I’m mad
When you’re frustrated and get jealous
And how you apologize when you get mad at me 
Cause only you know that’ll put me in tears
You make my heart start pound again 
As I see your passion to the music cause you’re the only person that makes me see these little things so big and enough for me 
So can you promise me , you’ll never leave?

I’m on the other side, but I’m still with you

Looking at light as it resembles life
Looking at fading pictures barley in sight 
I will tell you good morning everyday 
I will light up love at night
Cause I never left, oh love
Your tears will only get my wings wet
I’m here through the ups and downs
Don’t cry, my love
I’m showered by the moonlight 
Don’t be afraid of the life 
Once you cross the distance you’ll see real love
Once you try you’ll understand how you should walk
When you’re up from dreaming remember that I’m holding you in my arms 
But the shattered pain won’t bury love
Till we meet again 
Forever love

Without you baby…

Blocking out my heart 
Losing my angel hollows
Without you baby

Life is getting more hard
Where ever I go dark follows
Without you baby

I don’t know where this road will take me from now
Without you baby

Blocking out my heart 
Losing my angel hollows
Without you baby

I still hear you
I keep seeing you
Ur like a song that’s stuck in my head

I can’t move on
I try to be strong
But when ever I try I fail

My angel from above
Owner of my love
The dream I’ve had for long

You’re not by my side
I hope you are alright
You’ve always been my light

.

Image

All Of A Sudden

I can not remember when you laughed last time
Are we already so far from each other
We we used to do everything together
But you never looked nor got close to me
The world’s shaking off ur memories of me
All the scars you helped to heal it off of me
I still can’t get anyone else in my heart
But you’ve always been this dark and cold
Suddenly those days when I keep missing you
Suddenly when u cross upon my mind
Suddenly when I realize my falling tears
All the heartaches .. that I’ve been through
I will never rush and tell you about my heart
I will never let you see my weeknesses
I can keep on smiling like i’m used to be
Even if all I have left from you are scars
I can keeping on smiling .. by seeing your back
I am always crying and in pain like this
Suddenly those days when I keep missing you
Suddenly when u cross upon my mind
Suddenly when I realize my falling tears
All the heartaches .. that I’ve been through
Suddenly when I can’t do what my heart wants
Suddenly when little words can make a change
But then I say that i’m alright to keep you close
Cause i’m aware..I know
Goodbye

Unforgettable

it seems as if we skiped off
with frozen memories
through falling tears that are meant to dry
it feels as if we lost track of time
like everyday .. today
《 I still miss you
I can’t get over you
these feelings won’t go through
no matter how much I tell myself not to
I still miss you
I’ve tried to fold my heart
but love wasn’t apart
even though I deny
I still miss you 》
sometimes I tend to recall
the moments I spent with you
as I close my eyes I reminisce
all stuff that I couldnt forget
how unfortunate
that I love you
《 I still miss you
I can’t get over you
these feelings won’t go through
no matter how much I tell myself not to
I still miss you
I’ve tried to fold my heart
but love wasn’t apart
even though I deny
I still miss you 》
All the .. promises we made
All the memories .. those times I want to restore
I find myself as i’m looking at you
《 I still miss you
I can’t get over you
these feelings won’t go through
no matter how much I tell myself not to
I still miss you
I’ve tried to fold my heart
but love wasn’t apart
even though I deny
I still miss you 》

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