Even though my parents aren’t divorced
sometimes it feels like they are
or should I say I wish they were
some days my mom comes home at exactly 6:15 happier than the sun shining and the birds chirping ,
and at other times, I never know when she will stop raising her voice
sometimes the yelling goes on for a few minutes
and sometimes I wonder if it will ever stop
and I guess I’m just scared,
to think that we have put up through these struggles
or to think that we have to find the right solution for
these conflicts .
I think it’s scary to think about it,
Because one day the house is full of laughter and cheers
And the next it’s so empty…
With nothing to say to each other, we try to avoid one another
Pretending all is fine, when it’s not.
Because what are we supposed to say to our parents?
” why won’t guys just end things already ” ?
Sometimes I think this house is made up of bipolar disorder,
You never know when the sudden mood change is going to strike
Because even though I said I wasn’t counting, I was.
It took 11 minutes and 29 seconds for my mom’s mood to alter.
And for my father to snap at something little, like the groceries we had to buy,
Or my sister not being at home.
So I guess sometimes I wish my parents were divorced
So I wouldn’t be living in a constant fear
That something terrible was going to happen,
Or that one of the things that happened in the past will happen again,
Those memories from a long time a go haven’t left me for a single day
It still rewinds in my memory, like a sudden gripe, or a heartache
Or a nightmare that wakes me up continuously.
At times I think
‘ No way, we can’t live without my dad’
Because if they do split up
I wasn’t going to move with him,
I love my mom too much to leave her
With her shaky hands
And uneasy thoughts
What I’m saying is that even though I look at them both with sorrow
I guess we’re okay for now.
Talking In Silence 